Pika Pika Picnic
by Ike Redlark
Summary: A cute story about friendship and- Huh? Oh, Pikachu dies and goes to Hell to battle that guy from Full House.
1. Charon

_I wrote-posted this story on a different site and a few people enjoyed it. I want to see what you guys think. Please review. Next few posts should be soon. Note: "Chapters" are seperated by how I post on the other site. If I meld the first two posts together; the story may lose it's comedic punch and closure._

**Pika Pika Picnic - Written By Ike Redlark**

"NoOoOoO!" Ash yelled, watching his beloved Pikachu fall off the cliff face.

Though screaming "Pika" all the way down the cliff, the breeze felt nice as it ran across his puny yellow (xxxx). It had been such a hot day. Having a steady cool breeze was the best way to die on the type of day that it had been.

All the world went black around the world famous Pikachu and the little yellow rat thought he saw a vision of Ash with Misty crying over the remains of yellow fur. All the people at the reception were wearing black and Pikachu somehow knew that he was witnessing his own funeral.

"Pika…" he said in relative shock. "Pika, pika, pikachu--," deep words that we all can agree to.

Visions clouded the little yellow rat's mind and he found himself where all the good Pokemon end up in the afterlife. Charmanders, Tamagochi Monsters, and Alf ran happily in the distance; to his side, Pikachu couldn't believe his eyes when he thought he saw a Seviper playing Ice Curling with a Mightyena.

It really was Heaven…

Gracefully gallivanting, Pikachu found himself in front of a desk made out of clouds; but the Dragonite receptionist quickly reassured the little yellow rat that it wasn't clouds at all, but Swablu and Altaria hides.

Smiling, the Pikachu asked where he should go in Pika-Heaven. The Dragonite smiled back and shuffled through it's papers on it's desk. A worried look went across the Dragonite's face and he looked at Pikachu seriously for a brief moment.

"Pika?"

The Dragonite shook it's head and said, "I'm sorry Pikachu, but you're not on the list." The Dragonite smiled briskly and continued, "Have a nice day!"

"PIKA!" (translations: But why? I'm the world famous Pikachu! I have to be on the list! I'm the Pikachu that's with Ash, "chosen" trainer of most legends! I follow Ash, Brock, Misty, May, and her annoying brat brother on all their Poke-Journeys! I HAVE TO BE ON THE LIST YOU FAT ORANGE PIECE OF--)

But before Pikachu could finish his rant against the Dragonite, Pikachu began falling quickly to the dark abyss below the clouds of Pika Heaven.

As he fell, the air seemed to become colder and colder, as if the life was being sucked dry from his conceptual world. The nice coastal wind from the cliff breeze could have been remembered as an oven compared to the bleak world that Pikachu felt that he was falling into.

Though oddly, the dismal cold of Hell also burned with fires that ripped away at his very soul. The oncoming feeling of what pains to come couldn't fully be conceptualized in the tiny little yellow rat's mind and he wished he was back in the safety of Ash's arms once more.

The darkness became darker and darker. To the point Pikachu couldn't see his own paws in front of his face. He tried sparking lights from his electric cheeks, but the energy was being sucked from every part of his body. So that no matter how hard he tried to create light in the darkness, he failed.

His falling suddenly stopped when what seemed to be a break from the laws of physics, he began to fall the opposite direction. Falling up as one may call it, he hit the ceiling with a bone crushing crash. Of course, being dead and in Pika Hell, he couldn't die; but only feel the extreme burning pain that caused him to cry for the mercy that wouldn't come.

Pikachu was in Hell. And he was too scared to open his eyes.

This all had to be a nightmare of the worst kind. But Pikachu soon realized he was in the reality of his afterlife.

Pikachu kept his eyes shut tightly, then a familiar voice said calmly and almost motherly, "Pikachu. I'm surprised you didn't make it to Pika Heaven. But oh well, sometimes I get a surprise every so often."

Pikachu kept his eyes shut. His body was in intense pain, as if the inferno of a volcano boiled his fur to a singe.

"Oh, c'mon Pikachu," the voice said. "Open your eyes, and accept the outcome of your life."

As if being prodded open with toothpicks, Pikachu's eyelids widened to reveal his new master. Surprisingly it was--…

"Hey Pikachu! My real name's Charon! The Gatekeeper of Hell. I sometimes go into the physical world under the alias of Misty, but that's trivial information nobody really cares about."

"Pika…" he said in relative shock. "Pika, pika, pikachu--," deep words that we all can agree to.

"No, Pikachu. Up on the physical world you may know me as, Misty, the Water Gym Leader. But down here, my name's Charon, the Gatekee--"

"Pika, Pikachu," Pikachu interrupted.

"Yeah, Gatekeeper of Hell," the character formally known as Misty finished. "You're catching on," she said with a… friendly smile…

Pikachu sighed as he got to his feet.

"Well," Charon (Misty) said brisky, "I'll take you to your level of Hell. I'm surprised you're assigned to such a low level! Not even the majority of lawyers and politicians go that low." She finished her sentence with a chipper laugh. In normal situations, that signature laugh would seem girlie. But down here… she seemed to come off as cynical…

Charon (Misty) led Pikachu to what looked like a large elevator. In the elevator were a bunch of seats set up in a movie theatre fashion. Each seat had it's own special seat belt. Sitting in on of the seats, Charon (Misty) strapped herself in. Telling Pikachu to do the same, Pikachu sat himself next to his old friend with many secrets he didn't know about until now.

As the elevator went up, Pikachu became confused. Looking to the Gatekeeper for some insight on the situation, Pikachu noticed that she only sat in her seat with a fixed grin drumming her lap in anticipation.

A voice began speaking as if through an intercom… "In the world that we know," it said lowly. "There are many things we take for granted. Things in this world that would seem as normal, as one may say. But in the world of the darkness, things begin to change…"

Whispering quietly, Charon said into Pikachu's ear with controlled excitement, "I love this part. No matter how much I go on this elevator, I never expect it."

The voice in the intercom explained the strange supernatural world that society could never in their lives existence understand fully. The elevator doors opened and showed a hallway of some sort of haunted mansion with ghosts running this way and that. A candlestick in the distance danced alone, being held by the restless spirits that lived in the walls of the Elevator!

The elevator rose once more to a huge hole in the wall. The sun shone into the elevator, and Pikachu could see what looked like an "amusement" park below filled with tourists with balloons. He had to have been hundreds of feet high in the air! It was an amazing sight. Looking over to Charon with a smile, he heard her say quietly, "Whoa."

Then out of nowhere the elevator dropped quickly! Charon screamed in delight and Pikachu found himself scared out of the pants he didn't have! The elevator bounced back up even higher than before. Pikachu felt a small moment of weightlessness as the elevator reached it's peak. Then the elevator dropped again! But even faster! Holding his paws to his eyes, he felt as if his world was losing all control of things! Whatever held the space-time of the universe had already been obliterated, and what swirled in the little yellow rat's head was pure chaos!

Then everything became quiet…

The elevator doors dinged daintily, and Pikachu found himself being un-buckled from his seat by Charon.

"Did you like the elevator?" she asked happily.

"Polka!" Clearing his throat, he said once more, "Pika…"

"Okay, whatever," she said, waving a hand in the air and turning away from Pikachu gently. "You're just grumpy because you died and went to Hell. I see how it is."

Pikachu sat there more confused than ever as Charon walked away. She suddenly turned around happily and asked Pikachu, "You wanna' see the Gift Shop?"

Pikachu sighed, and agreed. Following the girlishly-cute Gatekeeper of Hell around a red rocky corner. He found himself walking straight into a small shop filled with t-shirts, mugs, toys, board games, galore. Looking around, he asked Charon if he could buy an Ash Bobble Head.

Lightheartedly, Charon nodded.

Once out of the Gift Shop, Pikachu followed Charon down a long hallway lined with jagged hot rocks of lava, ice cold shards that seemed as sharp as razors, and framed pictures of the cast from "Happy Days." It was horrible.

Coming to a door with the numbers "42" on it. Pikachu noticed that the door could of unknowingly replaced the door to a Holiday Inn without any suspicion.

"Well here's your room!" Charon said. She pulled out a small card key and unlocked the door. With a 'click,' the light maple door swung open revealing a room with two beds, a telephone, a microwave, TV, mini-fridge, and bathroom. There was also free towels, a mini-coffee maker set up in the bathroom, and cute little complimentary soap bars and packs. "Enjoy your stay," she continued. "If you need to go anywhere; just call housekeeping on the phone. Your roommate should be arriving pretty soon."

Walking into the room, Charon locked the door behind the little yellow rat.

For some reason, Pikachu didn't feel very welcome to his new home.

Jumping on to one of the soft beds, Pikachu was more tired than he had ever been in his whole life.

He felt like Hell.


	2. Warm Frosty Morning

It was a frosty winter day, and Karen had baked a small cake for the local farmer that she somewhat adored, Cecil.

Karen was a pretty girl, with dark blonde hair and deep enchanting green eyes. Cute, but simple facial features; she wore a plain white shirt, a purple sleeveless denim over-shirt, and short blue jeans.

Wrapped up in a red wool scarf with purple wool mittens on her hands, Karen smiled as she walked through the streets of Mineral Town carrying a wicker basket with her still warm cake. For some strange reason, the cake smelled slightly of fish.

She could see her breath in the air, and on her mouth lingered the scent of strong Jack Daniels.

Possibly a little buzzed, she knew it was the start of a good day.

On the edge of town, she noticed smoke coming from behind some trees just off the road. Puzzled, and thinking there was a fire, Karen walked towards the smoke; she also could've sworn there was the smell of sulfur in the air.

Now it's not that Karen would see weird things everyday, causing her to be fully conditioned to evil space demons created by a lost civilization as the survivors found safety through a portal/ark to Mars; or dark mages that could raise hordes of zombies; or even the everyday strolling dwarf with the sparkle of gold lust in his crazy Caribbean eyes. On the contrary, Karen only knew the simple small town life and was a dedicated helper to her father's general store.

Perhaps it was the excess of wine that morning that kept her calm in the situation, one could never know for sure.

Instead of a fire, Karen was surprised to see a large ten foot gash in the ground that led to a cave. There was smoke coming from the cave, and every so often a flame would fly out of the hole in the ground. The girl standing in front of the simple portal to Hell was Charon (ie. Misty, the Water Pokemon Trainer).

Charon stood there with a blank smile starring at Karen.

Karen's mouth slightly dropped as her seldom sober self came around.

"Karen," Charon asked.

"Yes?" Karen replied.

"You know. You've got a similar name as mine?"

"Sure. I baked a cake."

"You're invited to a great tournament in Hell."

"I am," Karen asked inquisitively.

"Yes. If you win, you get a trophy. And a free pass to come stay at our resort any time you'd like--"

Karen interrupted, "What if I lose?"

Charon frowned with a sigh, "actually nothing happens. We give you a participation ribbon. Nothing very eternal really."

"But if you win," Charon continued happily. "You also get a free Winnebago!"

At that moment, the theme from the "Price is Right" began playing faintly. It seemed to be coming from the portal to Hell.

"That's great! Count me in," Karen said. "Just let me deliver this cake and I'll be on my way."

"Sure," smiled the quirky redheaded gatekeeper of Hell.

Karen walked off to deliver her cake, and Bob Barker crawled out the crack to Hell and asked Charon if there was a McDonald's nearby.

Charon declined.

- - - - -

Later in Pokemon Tower…

A line of monks followed each other one by one meditating their prayers to the lost souls of Pokemon passed on.

Unknowingly two floors above the serene moment, was a vigorous battle between Charon's Starmie and a powerful Gengar.

"Starmie! Bubblebeam!" she ordered fiercely. A fire burned brightly in Charon's eyes and she smiled.

The heavyset Starmie flexed it's arms, and from it's epicenter came a sparkling energy that bubbled out and hit the Gengar causing it to fly back into the side wall.

Gritting it's teeth, the dark black ghost slit it's eyes evilly and thrust it's hand forward, shooting out a dark bluish haze towards the starfish Pokemon.

With a quick spinning jump in the air, the Starmie evaded the ghost's attack as it flew through the air like a Frisbee disk. The Starmie landed on it's arms, with an order from it's trainer, it began rolling towards the Gengar and jumped above the black ghost and shot a wave of water at it. But with a quick rebound, the ghost lashed out it's long purple tongue, and wiped the Starmie with a slimy long kiss.

The Starmie fell to the ground and shuddered. Staggering for it's balance, the large Starfish Pokemon fell to the ground shivering. The lick caused the Starmie to become paralyzed with fear.

Calling back her Starmie with a red Pokeball, Charon threw out a weird looking Pokemon that looked like a white hairless bird with colorful spots. "Togetic, Go!"

The Togetic cried out a growl and starred at the Gengar maniacally giggling like Barney the Dinosaur.

With a command from Charon, the Togetic ran towards the Gengar and beamed out a strange wave of energy, throwing the ghost back several feet.

Charon grabbed an empty black Pokeball from her belt and threw it out towards the Gengar.

Disappearing in a bright white light, the Gengar gave up.

Walking down the stone stairways, out of Pokemon Tower into the streets of Violet Town, Charon found Karen in the local liquor store. Walking out with a couple bottles of wine and a pack of beer, Karen followed Charon to another large fiery gash in the ground that led to Hell.

On their way down, Charon explained the basics on Pokemon battling to Karen.

- - - - -

On Mt. Moon…

A large gathering of smiling Clefairy were all holding hands while singing and dancing happily with no cares in the world. In the center of the dance was a large cackling Clefable dancing with a Parasect the size of a sedan.

All the Clefairy laughed in the moonlight. It was a very beautiful and wonderful scene that would make children's dreams come true and poets write simple nothings that spoke of finding love in the simple things. Either that; it would inspire hippies in the heat of an acid trip.

Of course, this was all ruined when a fiery gash from Hell opened up in the side of the mountain and two dark Master Balls vacuumed the Clefable and Parasect in captivity.

As the chaos mellowed down, a baby Clefairy cried softly, mentally traumatized for life.

- - - - -

Somewhere in Oz…

A young girl from Kansas skipped down a yellow bricked road with her new found friend. A magical Scarecrow that could sing and dance. The duo were on their way to the famed capital of the Kingdom of Oz, The Emerald City. Which wasn't completely Emerald at all. But nobody really cared if more than half of the city was in fact Jade and Wheat Crackers.

The duo had recently come across a rusted Tin Woodman who had gotten caught in the rain. Oiling the immobile tin can to move once more, the Scarecrow and Dorothy found themselves being bombarded by the rambling, and unsurprisingly singing and dancing, putz.

"Oh Dorothy," the Tin Woodman babbled. "Oh how I wish I had a heart! I could love things endlessly and--"

Suddenly a fiery gash in the yellow brick road opened up and sucked the Tin Woodman in with a bright white light.

Dorothy and the Scarecrow had never been so scared in their lives…

And as the chaos mellowed down, a baby Clefairy cried softly, mentally traumatized for life.

- - - - -

On an elementary school stage, in the middle of a quiet American neighborhood…

A group of children stood on the stage reinacting a Christmas pageant.

The night had been a little rough as Snoopy, a white beagle with a black spot on his back danced on a boy named Schroeder's toy piano. Schroeder was playing a classic Vince Gauraldi jazz number which all the kids on stage had fun listening and dancing to.

Quieting down his friends on stage, a boy named Linus began explaining the meaning of Christmas to the slightly misguided group of friends.

And at the end of connecting friends to family; love and honesty; the children became quiet as Linus recited Luke, chapter 2.

There was a hush among the kids, and not a creature was stirring, not even a--…

Until a gash from Hell broke open and sucked Linus into a Pokeball.

All the children freaked out and screamed.

The only thing left on the stage where Linus had been standing was his security blanket.

And as the chaos mellowed down, a baby Clefairy cried softly, mentally traumatized for life.


	3. The Hunt is On

-1_I'm such a jackass for not posting this any quicker. The good news is: I finally came back to this story and am soon to finish it. Enjoy!_

It had been becoming a relatively good day, understanding the circumstances that is--Trying to turn the television to Oprah, Pikachu found himself watching Pee-Wee's Playhouse instead.

The door of his room swung open violently, and in walked a tall, round-bellied brown rabbit. He huffed and puffed heavily stomping each foot angrily, looked at Pikachu with a slight look of confusion, spun quickly around and cursed at Charon who was just now walking through the door.

Behind Charon walked in a red raptor looking dinosaur-thing with black spotty designs on his body. He had a solemn look on his face, and sighed as he walked in.

"Pikachu," Charon said. "These are your roommates." Giving the large rabbit-thing a hard shove, she dragged the dinosaur-raptor thing to her front.

"Get your bloody fu--"

"You don't know them, but their now your teammates in an upcoming tournament. So I advise you to get to know them."

"A what-what, contest? Is there money involved," the rabbit asked.

"Pika?"

"Don't ask, Pikachu," Charon said, waving her hand at the trio. Leaving, she shut the door with a slam, locking it behind her.

An awkward silence grew between the three. The large red dinosaur thing finally broke the silence and said, "My name's Guilmon. If the tournament is anything I think it is, I can fight. So if you two can't, I'll cover ya' the best I can. No promises though."

"Pika."

Guilmon looked over to the large fuzzy bunny thing.

"Oh. My name is Hare. Not like the hair on your head, but like the rabbit thing-a-ma-jig." A coy smile shot across his face, "I can sure as heck fight, so I'm sure I can cover the two of you with my eyes closed if things get too rough."

"Your turn."

"Pika pika, Pikachu."

"What'd he say," Hare blurted.

"Pika pika, Pikachu."

"He said, 'My name is, Pikachu.' "

"Pika."

" 'An Electric Mouse Pokemon.' "

"Wait what? How'd you decipher that crap?"

"I have no idea," Guilmon said, shrugging his shoulders.

"So Yellow Rat?" Hare asked. "Where's the food?"

"Pika," Pikachu said, pointing at a mini-fridge in the corner. A small spark of electricity snapped at the tip of his whiskers.

"Ooo," Hare said sarcastically, waving his hands around his long ears. "So Yellow Rat is an Electric Yellow Rat. I guess we're saved now. Maybe we can defeat Hell now. What do you think Guilmon?"

"I'm not a part of this," Guilmon said, sitting down on one of the large beds to watch the TV. "Is this Aliens vs. Predator? No wait, It's Pee-Wee Herman."

Hare gave Pikachu a hard shove. Growling fiercely, Pikachu collected a large lightning bolt that threw Hare into the wall. Wincing in pain, Hare looked madly at Pikachu. Ruffling his hair with a bursting shiver that ran across his body, Hare gritted his teeth.

"That was kind of cool, Pikachu," Guilmon said in a bit of slight shock. "But you're killing the satellite reception."

"Not as cool as this," Hare said turning around. He pointed his small fluffy tail at Pikachu and ripped off a large belching, almost wet, fart.

"Oh you sick son-of-a--!"

"PIKA!"

The entire room was engulfed in a humid sweaty yellow cloud. "YeAh! You Like that foo'," Hare cackled.

Pikachu's eyes began to water as he fell to the ground, trying hard not to breath in the air. Hare jumped over to Pikachu and gave him a hard backslap.

"Nobody messes with Hare!"

"Enough," Guilmon roared. "Pepper Breath!"

"No! You Idiot!" Hare screamed.

Letting out a fiery shot from his jaws, Guilmon soon realized his mistake:

_Pokedex Excerpt: Guilmon is a fire breathing dinosaur, far stronger than his predecessor, Agumon. Pepper Breath is a basic fire attack deriving from Agumon, the fire dinosaur. Hare is of the Fighting Type. Hare specializes in quick punches, kicks, and paralyzing flatulence. Two and two together: Flatulence and Fire, Bad… Bad, bad, bad. Wait… Computing… Computing… FATAL ERROR 283: Guilmon is not listed Pokemon. FATAL ERROR 405: Hare is not listed Pokemon. Pokedex will now reboot and self-destruct in ten seconds. This session has been brought to you by, Windows 95._

As the room ignited in a fiery inferno of combustible gasses, the three roommates screamed like schoolgirls; along with Pee-Wee Herman who had just discovered the Secret Word of the Day.

Meanwhile, on an upper level of Hell was the ballroom. Most of the important representatives of the otherworld was there, including several random invitees who weren't connected with the inner workings of Hell at all. All the guests were sitting at small tables, enjoying their banquet dinners, conversing away about the latest movies, politics, and Chicago pork belly stocks.

In the large crowd, sat a somewhat confused Karen drinking her wine and nibbling on some lunchables.

In front of the crowd was a large stage with beautiful art-deco curtains. The curtains opened up revealing Charon standing in front of a large raffle cage with hundreds of little red ticket stubs inside.

Grabbing the microphone in front of her, Charon announced, "The raffle shall begin! And once everybody has their teams, the names will be randomly chosen for the tournament grid. And after that! The betting booths will open with up-to-date odds!"

The crowd applauded as the large raffle cage spun wildly. Coming to a stop, Charon opened a little door on the cage and pulled out a ticket stub.

"And the winner of the Pikachu Team… Two. Five. Seven. Four. Three. Three."

Raising her hand slowly, Karen found herself applauded by the ballroom crowd.

The three roommates sat in their room, semi-crisp from the ironic hellfire that had engulfed them earlier.

Guilmon and Pikachu were sitting on the bed discussing movies. While Hare was sitting in a chair watching TV and eating some burnt popcorn.

"Pika-Pee."

"Exactly," Guilmon replied. "I do believe that that movie had way too many sex scenes to be considered artistic."

"Pika-Poop."

"That too. It was definitely a failed attempt to be, what would you call it? Artsy-fartsy?"

The door unlocked, opening slowly, Karen walked in fully disregarding the charred remains of a once four-star hotel room from Hell. "I guess you guys are my team. You ready for the competition?"

"Sure. Popcorn?" Hare replied.

"No thank you."

"Pikachu."

"What did he say," Karen asked confused from Pikachu's response.

"Who knows? Only Guilmon can understand him. Oh, that's Guilmon, by the way. I'm Hare. Yellow Rat over there is Pikachu. Sure you don't want any popcorn? It's burnt."

"PIKA!"

"What's wrong with it," Karen asked.

"He doesn't like to be called, 'Yellow Rat,'" Guilmon said.

"So I call him Yellow Rat."

"Char-Char (cough), Pika-chu," Pikachu sneered.

"Okay," Karen said. "My name's Karen. Grab what you need, and let's go."

Walking out the door, Karen noticed an unusually auspicious path she didn't notice before. Pointing it out to the others, Pikachu made a small comment to Guilmon.

"What did he say," Karen asked.

"He said he wants to go down that way."

"Pika-Pika."

"It might be an exit."

Looking down the path, she noticed a sign that read, "Road to Paris Hilton."

Then suddenly Karen seemed to sober up…

…Why was she so submissive to the idea of going down to Hell to compete in some fighting tournament "of champions?" Was the participation ribbon really worth the risk? Why did her first competitor have a team consisting of a Singing Dancing Tin Woodman, Karl Marx, and head of cabbage? Was the first place fruit basket really that appealing?… Hell no.

"Let's get out of here," Karen said. "Let's try to get out of this hellhole."

The other three agreed happily.

Walking down the path, it soon turned into a hallway with many locked doors with small windows attached to them. The hall was set up in just the way that a passerby could see what was taking place. It was horrible looking inside each mini-window.

Hare concluded that each door led to a personal Hell. Not knowing how the physics behind each room worked though, the four found a security guard and asked.

The security was a brunette haired girl with thick glasses. Her name was Velma. "Simply explained my simpletons of simplicity. If you take mirrors, a flashlight, and a couple cotton swab q-tips, you can create alternate realities and illusions. Simple mechanics," she explained.

"I should've known that," Guilmon said.

In Hell, Pikachu saw many horrors… Passing a Snorlax with insomnia trapped in a room with Cher's "Do You Believe?" playing continuously… A drooling Hypno tied to a chair watching re-runs of Mr. Bean. "Pi-pi-pika-pikman…," he said to Guilmon.

"Well, nobody said Hell was a holiday."

Meanwhile, back in a deeper circle of Hell; Charon sat patiently for Karen's team to register.

An hour passed, but no sign of Karen, Hare, Guilmon, or even… Especially, Pikachu.

Calling for her guards and minions, Charon went to Hades (who you may remember as Uncle Joey on Full House) and told him the situation.

Hades, being the rightful governor of Hell thought for a second. His forehead wrinkled as he thought deeply.

The crowd around him knew the look on his face, somebody was going to fell Hellfire at it's worst.

"What's he going to do? What's happening," somebody asked.

"I dunno' what's going on," a man in a yellow hat replied.

The crowd of competitors and demons began rustling even louder.

"This isn't good."

"Is the competition called off?"

"What the Hell's going on?"

"Elmo doesn't like it here."

The hunt for Pikachu was on…


	4. You're Safe with Me

_So it's been about four years in the making, BUT here's THE FINAL chapter post (stream of posts) of the long-awaited... Pika Pika Picnic! It took me so long to finish this, and I'm sorry. It was hard to find any sort of good closure for the characters in this. It took every bone in my writing to concoct a good ending worth standing up against the last two posts. And thank you BirdieBerry for the help on the final part and editing. But here you go. I hope you enjoy._

**Chapter 4: You're Safe with Me**

Pikachu, Karen, Hare, and Guilmon all walked the hallway of hell. It never seemed to end, as if it were a Hell of it's own.

"He says he's called a Pokemon, where he comes from," Guilmon said. "I don't think I know what they are; but my guess is that we were pulled from separate parallel universes."

"So what are you exactly?" Karen asked.

"A Digimon. And my guess is that Hare is just Hare."

"Well, chap. Instead of 'trainers;' we got monster ranchers. I'm just glad we all know how to fight. Except for you, Karen. You're just a little out of luck on this one. But, hold on Guilmon; if you're just a life form that can only survive within cyberspace and holograms, why and how are you in physical form right now?"

Guilmon looked at Hare and replied, "Well, that's pretty easy to explain. I think-"

But before he could explain, they came across a fork in the hallway. Around the corner, an unassuming furry brown bear walked towards them looking around; he was wearing a brown hat and a red polka-dotted tie; carrying a classic looking briefcase to his side. He was followed by a blue monster of sorts. This blue monster in comparison to the heavier set bear, had lanky arms and legs and stood taller than his friend. With a round head and blue fur all over, he had no pants or shirt; but had a red cape, medieval silver dented knight's helmet, and a utility belt with the letter 'G' on it.

The four hid around the corner from the two things walking towards them. Karen signaled a hush with her finger looking at the other three.

"Do you think they're friendly?" Hare whispered.

"I can't tell," Guilmon replied.

"So what do we do?" Hare asked.

Karen shushed, glaring at the two. "Shut up, you guys."

The bear and blue monster stopped, "Did you hear that, Super Grover?" The bear held back his blue friend.

"Hmm, I think you are right, Fozzie. If it's like those not-very-nice friends we saw down the hallway, this may be a job for SUP!-"

There was a pause as Super Grover pointed his finger in the air holding his breath. Fozzie stared at Grover, looked around and got on his knees opening his suitcase. Fozzie replied, looking in the suitcase, "I wouldn't call a red demon with lobster claws a friend." Fozzie pulled out a rubber chicken, shook his head, and threw it over his shoulder. "Usually that kills the crowds, but enough people are burning at this gig that I don't think it would be appropriate to serve roast chicken." Still digging, Super Grover began to shake with his finger in the air. His eyes bulged as he couldn't hold in his breath any longer; lanky arms shaking like spaghetti on a fork. "Aha!" Fozzie cried, pulling out an oddly shaped gun with a clenched boxing mitt on the end. "Time to give this audience the punch-line of the millennium! Waka-waka-waka!"

Guilmon rolled his eyes looking at Karen who wasn't drunk enough to find the gags funny; meanwhile, somewhere in the banquet hall of Hell, Misty was eating an orange cat with black stripes.

Down the hallway, Hare's eyes were shut and a smile was creeping it's way on his snout as he held back laughter. Pikachu stared at Hare confused, "Pika?" he asked quietly. Guilmon shrugged.

Clamping his suitcase shut on the ground, Fozzie pointed his boxing mitt gun from side to side staring down the hallway for any signs of demons. Meanwhile, Grover stood shaking with his finger in the air-

"So here's the plan," Fozzie said quietly.

"-PER GROVER!" Grover cried, breathing heavily regaining his air.

"I stay back here, and you run in and see what's around the corners in the hallway. You're a superhero, right? I'm only a comedian!"

"I believe you are right, Fozzie." Super Grover replied. A serious look came over Grover's face as he wound up his arms flailing. Grover began to scream wildly, waving his arms in the air. "NeAR!"

Suddenly Hare fell down laughing in sight of Fozzie and Super Grover, "I can't take it anymore; you guys are cracking me up!"

At that instant Super Grover flew into the air with a bang and zipped by Hare, completely missing him. Grover hit the floor with a roll down the hallway several doors away from the rest of the crowd. "FAaaaaR!"

Fozzie shook his boxing mitt gun at Hare, "Who are you? You don't look like a demon!"

Karen walked out with her hands in the air, "We come in peace. I think we can trust each other. Do you have any Schnapps?"

Guilmon trotted towards Super Grover and helped him up.

"Are you here for the tournament, too?" Hare asked getting back up on his feet.

"Yes, Mr. Rabbit. That is correct." Grover replied in a tired voice walking back.

"Just the two of you?" Guilmon asked.

"No," replied Fozzie. "We had a friend named, Garfield the Cat. But that redheaded girl, Charon? Yeah. Charon captured him, and we tried to escape. But now we're lost in this maze. I'm telling you, though; I've had rowdy audiences in my times, but this place is filled with a tortured crowd. Waka-waka-waka!" Fozzie smiled, honking a horn that he seemed to grab from nowhere.

"Do you know how to get out of here?"

Fozzie smiled happily, "In fact I do! Super Grover and I have been finding these exit signs to a stairwell. We came out here, so this should be the bottom floor, and the entrance should be around here somewhere!"

"Bottom floor?"

"Yeah, we've climbed down like fifty-some stories to get down here. Unfortunately, I don't see any windows."

"Pika!"

"Dude!" Hare replied. "You're not supposed to go deeper into Hell to get out! You climb out! Where's this staircase at?"

"Oh…" Grover and Fozzie said dumbfounded looking at eachother.

* * * * *

Meanwhile, somewhere else in Hell… Dave Coulier (Hades), stood up from his fiery throne, and concentrated on his domain. "I know where the escapees are, Charon." The popular late 80's actor smiled. "They're in the Al Gore Wing. Fly, my pretties! FLY!"

Suddenly a swarm of flying monkeys came rushing out from Coulier's mouth in an inhumanly frightening way, sort of like something out of the Exorcist, really scary stuff… I don't really want to get into detail, cause I get nightmares easily…

* * * *

Finding the staircase, and the exit sign above it, Karen smiled. "Wow, this is going to be pretty easy."

"Yeah, you'd think Hell would be a little harder to navigate through."

"Pika-pika."

"Huh," Guilmon replied. "I didn't know you knew dimensional physics, Pikachu."

"Pika. Pikachu."

Guilmon stopped in his tracks staring at Pikachu. "That's really profound."

The rest of the party stopped climbing the stairs and looked at Pikachu and Guilmon.

"What'd the rat say?" Hare asked confused.

"Pika."

"He's explaining to me the possible dimensional physics of existence in this reality and where it could possibly be located either within, or outside our universe. The math and concepts are a little confusing, so I won't explain. It's cool stuff, I'll have to tell you later when we're out of here."

"Pika."

"Now that's just dirty."

"Pika."

Guilmon cringed, "T.M.I., Pikachu. I'm not into those kind of dirty jokes."

"Pika."

"What?"

"Pika."

"Okay, that's not okay."

"Pika."

Guilmon stared at Pikachu in shock. "You're a racist horn-dog, Pikachu. This conversation's over…"

* * * * *

Five years later… Super Grover found a penny. It was a good day for him in Hell…

* * * * *

Three more years later... The Flying Monkeys that Dave Coulier had unleashed finally reached Karen, Pikachu, Guilmon, Hare, Fozzie Bear, and Super Grover.

Misty and Coulier were watching the fight unfold on a security camera patiently.

"Haha! They finally reached the escapees! Finally! After all these years!"

Misty sighed, "Yeah, you'd think getting around this place wasn't such hell…"

"Elmo doesn't like it here…"

"DID I SAY YOU CAN TALK!" Coulier screamed grabbing a feather, getting ready to tickle his prisoner.

* * * * *

There stood Pikachu, Karen, Hare, Guilmon, Fozzie, and Super Grover. They had gotten out of the bottom circles of hell and were now lost in some sort of hilly plains of lost souls and fire. Flying Monkeys swarmed in the distance, and our group of heroes knew, this was the fight that would mean escaping to freedom or eternal damnation.

Pikachu readied himself next to his friends that he had gotten to know so well.

Hare, who at first he hadn't gotten along with; but after so many years struggling together, had now become like an older brother.

Fozzie Bear, the fun-loving uncle figure of the group.

Oh, and Guilmon. At first, they sort of got along, only because Guilmon could understand him to his fullest. But after eight long years of sickening wise-cracks, Guilmon had grown annoyed of his jokes.

Karen, the loving girl from a small town who smelled like vodka (or Brock on Friday nights).

Super Grover, the lanky blue monster that was always a good laugh, and always wanted to help.

_*POP*_

And of course, Ben Affleck, who just suddenly appeared next to Fozzie with a popping sound.

They were a family! And they loved each other. They knew, standing strong and united; they could take on anything… except for Ben Affleck, because he had just sort of materialized.

Then suddenly! Out of nowhere, three unicorns come out a colorful rift. Two of the unicorns, a blue one and a pink one, started shooting the flying monkeys with laser guns. "Look out of the Blah-Blah-Blahs!"

A gray unicorn, who stood behind the other two looked up at the monkeys wide eyed, "Oh, c'mon you guys! What are those things!"

"Charlie, look out!"

Picking up the grey unicorn, the flying monkeys took him off to the distance.

"Chaaaarrrrlieeee!"

The swarm seemed to come closer. Pikachu readied himself for the battle. Sparks snapped at his whisker tips. Him and his makeshift family were getting out if it was the last thing they did…

As the flying monkeys came down to our heroes, a small band of colorful bears came running over the hillside. They stood proud and brave glaring at the flying monkeys. United, they chanted, "Care Bears! Staaaarrre!"

A beam of light and happiness shot at the flying monkeys blasting back a bunch of them. But the fight began brutally for Pikachu and his friends. Karen who had found a baseball bat two years ago back on floor 32,579 smacked one of the monkeys in the head as he tried carrying her off. Guilmon conjured up a fireball and scorched flames left and right. Poor Grover, after eight years in Hell, his view on the world had changed so much. He would tell stories of his gleeful days back on Sesame Street to the others every night. But now, Grover had grown cold and cruel after seeing so much evil and suffering…

Pikachu stopped fighting as Hare came up to his backside and tapped on his shoulder. "What's that?" he asked pointing off to the horizon. Pikachu squinted hard looking at the figure rolling over the hills. It looked like a man on a red bike. The only problem was that he had to have been a mile high in height. He just seemed to get larger the closer as he came into view.

"Pika!"

"It's like some sort of Underworld Titan."

The figure laughed a geeky laugh, and all the flying monkeys stopped fighting and hovered looking towards the large figure biking towards the battle. Some began to whisper to themselves in fear. Now in view, the battlers could see the man was in a light gray tuxedo like suit with a red bow tie. Short black hair, his red bike had all sorts of knick-knacks slapped on it.

Now dreadfully close, all the fighters on the field stepped back a little. The Monkeys began shrieking, chanting, "Pee-Wee Herman! Pee-Wee Herman! Pee-Wee Herman!"

Karen screamed, "Run!"

One of the Colored Bears exploded in a gory mess, as the Underworld titan laughed; some sort of evil underworld magic emanated from the titan. With every laugh, one of the bears would explode.

Pikachu turned around and ran for dear life from the titan. "PIKA!"

The giant man laughed again, "Ha-Ha! That's the Magic Word!" Then he blew up… but not just any explosion. It had to have had the force of a thousand megaton h-bombs, blowing a crater in the strange fiery field.

Somewhere in hell, Dave Coulier and Misty cursed at security monitors. Pee-Wee had saved the day again, and defeated the forces of Hell single handedly.

Then everything went black for Pikachu…

* * * * *

"Pikachu!" a familiar voice beckoned…

The darkness consumed Pikachu once more, and he grabbed for the voice, but his surroundings only seemed cloudy.

"Pikachu!" The voice beckoned once more… "Wake up!"

Pikachu's eyes opened as he woke up being shook by Ash. He was back near the cliff-face. Misty was setting up a picnic and smiled at Pikachu.

"Pikachu, you had a bad dream or something," Ash said.

"Pika…" Pikachu grabbed Ash and hugged him tightly. It had been, or at least felt like eight years since he had seen him last… was it all really a dream? Pikachu cried a little in Ash's arms confused.

"What's wrong Pikachu? It's like you've been gone for a long time."

The sun beamed brightly, small white puffy clouds hung in the clear blue sky, and a slight breeze blew kisses over the landscape. Ash and Misty had been setting up a picnic as Pikachu slept on the grass. They were near a cliff side facing the ocean. The view was spectacular, but looking out at the sea, Pikachu was terrified to fall off the edge of the cliff.

"C'mon Pikachu," Ash begged. "Misty made sandwiches and applesauce. You love applesauce."

Pikachu looked over to Misty; it HAD to have been a dream… This sweet looking girl could never be a minion, nay say, the gatekeeper to Hell… Misty grinned at Pikachu, "Are you okay Pikachu?" Misty walked over to the distraught Pikachu, "You had a bad dream?" She giggled and gave Pikachu a hug. "You're safe with me."

And as the chaos mellowed down, Pikachu cried softly, mentally traumatized for life.

* * * * *

Meanwhile, somewhere in Harlem… A Brown Bear with a polka-dotted tie woke up next to a Blue Monster.

"Well, what do you know? It was only a dream! Waka-waka-waka!"

"Shut up. This never happened," the blue monster snapped. After eight long years, his optimism faded like a ghost. He held his once favorite silver helmet in his hands looking deep into its cap. All he could see was the horror…

"What now, Grover?" asked the innocent brown bear to his gangly blue friend.

Grover gritted his teeth, chucked his helmet in a trash bin, and looked back at the Bear. "Today, Fozzie. We live."


End file.
